Indiana Bain Bilisoly of Norfolk, VA, died at age 94 on October 26, 2020. Born in Norfolk, she was the daughter of Harvey Lee Lindsay and Katherine Darden Lindsay. She was predeceased by her older sister, Kay Lindsay Kabler and her husband of 64 years, Dr. Frank Nash Bilisoly.
Known to family and close friends as “Indie Bain,” she grew up in the Algonquin section of Norfolk with Kay and younger brother Harvey. She graduated from Maury in 1944 and attended her beloved Sweet Briar College where she excelled in Latin and History. On a summer break from college, she met and was instantly charmed by Frank Bilisoly, a VMI graduate recently returned from the war who was working for her father at his Virginia Beach Surf Club. They were married on June 26, 1948, following her graduation and his acceptance to University of Virginia Medical School.
Living in Charlottesville, Indie worked in social services on child welfare and adoption cases while Frank attended school. Having her uncle Colgate Darden as president of UVA at the time made those years especially memorable for them.
In 1951, Frank’s residency took them to Presbyterian Hospital in New York City where Indie worked in the hospital social services department. The birth of two sons while living in a fourth-floor walkup made living in New York both challenging and exciting. They returned to Norfolk in 1955 where Frank entered his internal medicine practice and the family expanded with another son and daughter.
Their daughter Bainy, however, was born profoundly deaf, and raising her would be the defining event of their lives. There were no local schools for the deaf so they arranged for Bainy, at age five, to attend Clarke School, 600 miles away in Massachusetts. The struggle took everything they had, and because Frank was newly in practice, the burden fell mostly on Indie. It was through her indefatigable spirit and determination that Bainy was given the chance to develop as a full person in society, and Indie is honored and remembered within the family for that great effort.
Indie was an avid reader and passionate about current events and history. Her first question during any visit to her children or grandchildren was, “Did you read the paper today?” She was a creative gardener, a good tennis player, a willing skier, a more than willing “après-skier” and an enthusiastic world traveler. For 35 years she and Frank enjoyed the entire summer at their Sandbridge cottage where they entertained friends and family.
She was described by a close friend as “the most fun person I know” and she was so well known for “being on her soapbox” that her friends once presented her with one on her 50th birthday. She was incredibly proud of her home state and reminded everyone how special it was to be a Virginian. She loved Norfolk and was able to convince all four of her children to settle here.
Throughout her life she was also engaged in the community with active roles in every group of which she was a member, including St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, the Garden Club of Norfolk and the Westover Garden Club. She was also a former long-time president of The Florence Crittenton Home for Unwed Mothers in Norfolk. She researched, wrote, and presented a paper every year for years as a member of the Monday Club. Her support of the Chrysler Museum through the Irene Leache Memorial Foundation kept her engaged with the arts.
Indie and Frank moved to Harbor’s Edge in 2007 with many of their friends. Since Frank passed away in 2012, she has filled the void with family and friends and a glass of wine at the end of each day. If she were here, she would put on her lipstick, raise her glass and toast a life lived with great spirit.
Indie is survived by her brother, Harvey Lindsay, Jr. and four children, son Frank Nash Bilisoly and wife Vickie; son John Lindsay Bilisoly and wife Koggie; son Harvey Lee Bilisoly; daughter Indiana Bain Cyrus and husband Steve; six grandchildren, Anica Bilisoly, Frank Bilisoly, Thomas Bilisoly, Ben Bilisoly, Nash Bilisoly and Beck Bilisoly; and eight nieces and nephews.
The family wishes to thank the second and third floor nursing staff at Harbor’s Edge for their constant and compassionate care.
The memorial service will be private at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Norfolk. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to the charity of your choice. Online condolences may be offered to the family through www.hdoliver.com.
She was a force of nature. We will miss her.
